🔸Author: Kerryann Gonzales
The author successfully creates a sense of urgency and suspense in the beginning, as the protagonist chases after a suspect. The use of sensory details, such as the sound of horns and the smell of the surroundings, helps to immerse the reader in the scene.
However, it would be beneficial for the author to provide more clarity on the protagonist's identity and role in the story. Additionally, simple mistakes such as overly long sentences and grammatical errors could be corrected for better readability.
Overall, starting with suspense is an effective way to capture readers' attention, but it's important to make the theme of the story clear and easy to understand from the beginning.
🔸Title: Fleeing Royal Court
The story has a good start with an engaging conflict between Princess Zaria and her parents over her arranged marriage to King Vincent. Then the second part is the meeting between Princess Zaria and Oscar whose identity is kept in the dark.
The introduction of Oscar adds an intriguing element to the story, and it will be interesting to see how his character develops. The characters are distinct and have their own personalities.
The details of the royal castle and the Azalea plain are well-described, but more details could be added to enhance the reader's imagination. Also, there are some typos, grammatical errors and some phrasing that could be improved upon.
Overall, the story has potential and could benefit from further development and editing.
🔸Title: The Rejected Alpha
The author is good at using descriptive language to create a tense rhythm. The opening sentence immediately conveys the heroine's sense of panic and urgency, which is effective in creating a vivid picture of the main character's situation and surroundings.
The conflict between the heroine and the mysterious boy creates suspense and intrigue, which draws the reader in. Using a dream adds mystery and foreshadows the upcoming conflict.
The dialogue between the characters reveals their personalities. The exchange between the heroine and the teacher shows her as polite and respectful, while the conversation with the boy shows his arrogance and aggression.
While the beginning covers the main characters and conflict, there is some unnecessary information that slows down the pacing of the story. Consider trimming down the exposition and focusing on the most critical details. And there are a few grammatical errors and typos that could be corrected with careful proofreading.