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Editors' Feedback on SWAIII Stories Pt.5

Selected Stories Reviewed by our Editors in Stary Writing Academy III Writing Contest

December 10, 2021

Title:

Reborn As Queen Luna

Author:

RaziaSultana

Theme:

Girl Power - Rebirth of the Heroine

Blurb:

Bluebell Kelley was the black sheep of the Blood Stone pack. Overweight and clumsy, she was a total loser who was despised by everyone else, even her parents.

Ace Lucky Stone, Alpha of the Blood Stone pack was the stark contrary. Handsome and popular, he was Stone high school’s sweetheart - every teenage girl imagined herself in love with him.

Pointless to say that Bluebell’s love for Ace was not even fathomable, she was the least likely candidate for the role. Her unrequited love remained concealed until one day, Ace humiliated her in front of the whole school. On top of that, some mean girls made a mockery of her feelings for Ace all over the internet, causing her to be a greater source of entertainment for her peers...

✍Editors' Feedback:

It is crucial to show our heroine's aspirations when she's placed into this rebirth plot. Her newfound popularity will be in stark contrast with the clumsy loser she embodies before the transformation so it's important to know if the circumstances she's reborn into are all that she's hoped for. This will be the most significant conflict of the story, driving it forward and keeping readers engaged.

 

Title:

His Hybrid Slave Mate

Author:

Chantinglove138

Theme:

Dare to Be a Teen - Meet My Hybrid Girl

Blurb:

She was his mate's best friend. She knew how much he loved her, even then, she could not stop from falling for him!

Being rejected by her own mate, Emily had no choice than crushing over Jayden Harris, the alpha's son. It was kept forever a secret until that night— His mate died in her hands after an accident! She was— beheaded brutally.

"Jayden, that's true I like you but trust me I do not know how Sinjin died. I di-didn't kill her."

"Shut up... Just shut the f**k up."

"Please don't hate me."

"She was stupid to trust you. She was dumb which is why she's lying in her grave and you're going to take over her place."

"Huhhh, what? I..."

"Yes, Emily, you will replace Sinjin as my mate. You will fill that place in my life as my mate. My slave mate."

"Huhhh..."

✍Editors' Feedback:

Using chapter highlights as a synopsis is a great technique for attracting readers to get interested in your work. But on the flip side, it does make it hard to convey the hybrid elements of the plot. This book comes off as more like a mature werewolf novel rather than a typical YA. Please note and look out for erotic content within the description.

 

Title:

The Cursed Academy

Author:

Donna Delacerda

Theme:

Dare to Be a Teen - Elite Academy

Blurb:

I want to have a NORMAL high school experience. I don't care about my maternal grandmother's gift of sorcery on my 16th birthday. My grandmother and mother are forcing me to attend school for formal magic training. But, in order to attend, I cannot reveal that I am also a werewolf- a hybrid. My Father is a werewolf and my mother is a witch. They want me to leave our pack and attend my grandmother's old school. What could possibly go right?

✍Editors' Feedback:

The blurb sets up the background of the female protagonist and leaves us wondering whether her hidden hybrid identity will be uncovered. But with a book title like "The Cursed Academy", one can't help but want to know how said academy came to be cursed, or any information about the school will bring in audiences drawn to related subject matters. What will happen in this academy? What unique challenges will be presented to the characters that can appeal to readers of the YA fiction genre?

 

Title:

MY ORPHAN BRIDE

Author:

INTROVERT GEMINI

Theme:

Fall for a Billionaire - Romantic-Suspense

Blurb:

How would you heal your broken heart when you realize that you're used as a pawn for getting his interests fulfilled?

Would you cry?

Would you die?

Would you take your revenge?

If you ask me I'd say I won't do anything like that. Rather I would make him live with the guilt for what he's done to me.

He should understand each and every pain that he made me feel. And resorting to revenge is not my choice.

Sometimes forgiveness is the best way to kill somebody emotionally.

Do you think it's more like taking revenge? May be it is.

...

✍Editors' Feedback:

This synopsis is very fascinating. Hidden between the lines behind the calm facade of the description is a suspenseful setup akin to the beginning of a movie. With the sudden twist catching the audience off guard in great intrigue. What is the dark truth behind the car accident? Was it truly accidental or a premeditated murder instead? The description of the scene in combination with the inner thoughts of the protagonist creates an atmosphere of impending threats that keep readers on edge and wanting more.

The selected authors will also receive 300 bonus each. Keep up the good work!

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