This week, another 4 Tasks have been selected and reviewed by our editors.
Let's take a look at the feedback and find some sparks together!
Title:
Tales of Aranth: The Girl and The General
Author: Mira Kej
Theme: Girl Power - Rebirth of the Heroine
Blurb:
Mia was an ordinary girl with an ordinary hobby. She loved online novels. But what happens when she is transferred to the world of her favorite novel, The Tales of Aranth, and starts meddling with the plot? Is General Gravian, the male lead of the novel as described in the book? And what is so mysterious in the world of Aranth? (Read More...)
🔸Editors' Feedback:
Rebirth into a book is an interesting premise, but it would be more engaging if we set the scene with a bit more description of the essential conflicts of "the book" within the book. Who is General Gravian, really? What brings about the curiosity of our heroine? Why is she so into this book that leads to her reincarnating into it, literally? The relationship between her rebirth and her initial fascination with the characters of the book will also be quite fascinating for readers.
Title: His Biggest Regret
Author: JosephineMichelleC
Theme: Fall for a Billionaire - Redeem Ex's love
Blurb:
Scarlett Barkley is a 21-year-old young and beautiful woman. She thought that she had met her soulmate when she met 23-year-old Leo Watts. He was all she ever wanted in a man, he was funny, smart, sexy, handsome, caring. When he cheats on her she leaves everything behind and moves to New York. (Read More...)
🔸Editors' Feedback:
The first chapter dives right in and reveals the core conflict, which catches the readers' attention and sheds light on the ongoing development of the relationship between our hero and heroine, keeping the audience hooked and wanting to keep on reading.
However, the way in which the heroine storms out on the hero based solely on the one-sided coercion of her friend seems a bit too sudden and not quite convincing enough, logically. Reasons behind her falling for the duplicitous plot could be explored further to add texture and depth to the story.
Title: The Enchant Academy
Author: Cat S Moreno
Theme: Dare to Be a Teen - Elite Academy
Blurb:
"Bold golden letters were stamped on the purple flier. The obnoxious lettering read 'Welcome to the Enchant Academy for Special Beings'. I didn't know if I should laugh at the man with the ridiculous tall tophat smiling down at her or if I should cry with how awful my situation was. I was all alone. My family was gone and here was a man in a bright magenta suit inviting me to his elite school. I decided to laugh."(Read More...)
🔸Editors' Feedback:
The blurb did a good job in building up intrigue for the Enchant Academy for Special Beings by showing us some basic information about the school. Readers are left wondering about the challenges Nicole will be facing. However, the author did not elaborate on that buildup by extracting highlights from the plot that presents key differentiation and unique story elements in a detailed and descriptive manner.
Title: Till I Found You...Again
Author: Nhia04
Theme: LGBT+ - Breaking up with Ex
Blurb:
Esther finally agrees to hang out with her friends after several "No" and "Next time" she decided to join at the bar and ends up getting laid with a woman named Amber, one-night stand leads to a relationship where pressure and conflicts arise and ruined everything as a couple but starts a good friendship which they will learn to see what they missed as Amber realized her feelings for Esther that is about to marry soon...(Read More...)
🔸Editors' Feedback:
By highlighting the dramatic one-night stand that disrupted the protagonists' ordinary lives, the blurb did very well to arouse readers' curiosity. The latter part depicting their big ups and downs when reunited after breaking up is also intriguing. Readers will be enthralled with expectations by the sheer drama of the plot from reading the blurb.
However, in the actual story, readers are left a bit disappointed and less than satisfied. Don't get me wrong, the beginning two chapters are great, the characters are vivid although their identities may have been a bit too ordinary, the real problem came in chapter three.
What readers are expecting is a back and forth journey of the main characters falling in love after the initial wham-bam affair; going from unfamiliarity to familiarity; from resistance to acceptance; from shyness to passion. The dichotomy and conflict build tension and make for an interesting story. The gradual advancement and banter between the characters engage the readers and reign in their attention keeping them hooked.
In this text, however, the plot of the main characters’ love story is hastily summarized, and the audience wasn't granted the payoff so expertly teased from the blurb and the first chapters. It's fine to focus the story on the breakup and the eventual reunion, but it's easy for such a trope to fall flat and seem a bit too bland. Along with the emotional growth of the protagonists and their struggles, trying carefully and desperately to rekindle the flames of the past, we also need more dramatic plots to drive and evoke such layered emotions. Empty emotions without a riveting plot remain empty; while an empty plot without genuine emotional stakes is also quite holo. It's important to keep a good balance.
The selected authors will also receive 300 bonus each. Keep up the good work!
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