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Editors’ Feedback | LGBT+

Selected Stories Reviewed by our Editors

October 16, 2021

Title: 

My Bully is My Slave

Author: 

Bee J

Blurb:

Susan is still haunted by the abuse and betrayal she got from Her highschool heart throb/ Playgirl Althea. Finally 7 years later she has the opportunity to get her revenge. Tables have turned and she's now under her mercy. But will Susan be able to hold her Strength and Power ?? Or her fear will lead her down on her feet. (

🔸Editors' Feedback:

What an eye-catching blurb! 

It shows great drama with many twists and turns. 

The playgirl bully of yesteryears turned salve to the protagonist. 

As Susan conquers her former oppressor, she also conquers her own fear or succumbing to weakness. 

How will they get along?

What kind of relationship will the two of them eventually form? 

An alluring setup to entice readers to keep on reading.

 

Title: 

Bound To Her(Girl × Girl) (lesbian Story)

Author: 

IamYourMoon

Blurb:

"Have You Ever Met someone who hates You Sooooo Much for No Particular Reason ? Nomatter what you do, how much effort you put on them they wouldn't budge. And worse You Fall for them , crave their attention and love that you know you won't get anytime soon." Celene and Sky has this love hate relationship throughout their college days. One Full of Secrets and hate while another full of Trust and love.(Read More...)

🔸Editors' Feedback:

Great sentences, well formed, but not quite suitable for a blurb. 

Our recommendation is to use the protagonist's actions and experiences to attract readers, rather than their internal feelings. 

The purpose of a blurb for most readers is to give them a quick overview of the main protagonist's identity, where the story takes place, and the main difficulties and conflict they're facing. 

Based on this information they can then determine if they're interested in reading the story. 

While this blurb conveys the message that the main characters have a love-hate relationship in collage, it's a bit too simplistic and lacks uniqueness to differentiate itself from all the other books in the genre. 

With such generic settings, readers are likely to give up and choose another book instead. 

Why not have the main character as a secret billionaire heiress, forced to marry another girl for some mysterious reason? 

Distraught and disagreeable at first, she ends up falling in love with her. 

Such drama in the plot can give readers more room for imagination.